Don’t Blame the Gun, Your Eminence

7 Oct

by Patrick Novecosky

(August 7, 2019) — Nobody blamed the truck when 29-year-old Uzbek national Sayfullo Saipov rented a pickup from Home Depot 18 months ago and deliberately mowed down a dozen pedestrians and bicyclists in New York City, killing eight. There was no lobbying for background checks or more laws around vehicle rentals. Yet every time there’s a mass shooting, political leaders call for more gun laws. More laws won’t fix the problem.

I understand the necessity for political posturing. The President tweets and governors issue statements condemning the heinous crime. They assure the nation of their “thoughts and prayers” and the need to stop the violence. Lawmakers and those vying for office insist that we need new legislation. Some call for more drastic measures. Democratic presidential contender Pete Buttigieg told Fox News Sunday that “we cannot allow the Second Amendment to be a death sentence for thousands of Americans a year.”

We should expect as much from him.

Surely, I thought, faith leaders will cut to the heart of the problem. During Sunday morning Mass, our deacon read a statement about the weekend shootings in El Paso and Dayton from Cardinal Daniel DiNardo, president of the U.S. bishops’ conference, and Bishop Frank Dewane, chairman of their Committee on Domestic Justice and Human Development.

“Once again, we call for effective legislation that addresses why these unimaginable and repeated occurrences of murderous gun violence continue to take place in our communities,” the cardinal wrote. “As people of faith, we continue to pray for all the victims, and for healing in all these stricken communities. But action is also needed to end these abhorrent acts.”

We should expect more from our bishops.

Sure, we must pray for the victims and their families. That’s essential. But we also need to pray for the disturbed individuals who may contemplate violence in the future. As Christians, we know that our prayers are efficacious. We must beg God’s grace for these men. They’re out there, and their numbers are growing.

These young, lonely, disaffected young men often had abusive, distant or absent fathers. The breakdown of the family and the isolation exacerbated by technology is affecting the mental health of thousands (if not millions) of Americans.

Archbishop Charles J. Chaput

Some bishops get it. Philadelphia Archbishop Charles Chaput, who buried victims of the Columbine High School massacre 20 years ago, wrote this week that unless hearts are changed, mass murder like we witnessed this week will continue. He puts the blame squarely on the culture and each of us:

…only a fool can believe that “gun control” will solve the problem of mass violence. The people using the guns in these loathsome incidents are moral agents with twisted hearts. And the twisting is done by the culture of sexual anarchy, personal excess, political hatreds, intellectual dishonesty, and perverted freedoms that we’ve systematically created over the past half-century.

The vast majority of these shooters, bombers, and truck-driving killers come from broken or abusive families. The sobering thread running through the lives of all these perpetrators is fatherlessness. The late rapper Tupac Shakur once famously said, “I know for a fact that, had I had a father, I’d have some discipline. I’d have more confidence. Your mother can’t calm you down the way a man can. You need a man to teach you how to be a man.”

Things haven’t improved since Tupac was murdered in 1996. Today, despite a roaring economy, Americans are unhappy. Fortune reports that the 2019 World Happiness Report pegs the U.S. at No. 19—its worst ranking ever.

Like Chaput, one of the report’s co-authors points to Americans’ appetite for addiction – including “gambling, social media use, video gaming, shopping, consuming unhealthy foods, exercising, and engaging in extreme sports or risky sexual behaviors.”

These addictions are coping mechanisms for isolation. Millennials are among the loneliest and most isolated generation in our nation’s history, according to a new YouGov survey. Nearly a third say they always feel lonely.

“Millennials are also more likely than older generations to report that they have no acquaintances (25% of Millennials say this is the case), no friends (22%), no close friends (27%), and no best friends (30%),” according to the report.

These are the issues we expect our faith leaders to address. We expect politicians to pass legislation that keeps weapons out of the hands of mentally unstable individuals, even though that won’t solve the problem. Troubled, angry men will then use a knife, a bomb, or a truck to lash out at the innocent. Politicians and faith leaders need to understand once and for all: it’s a heart problem, not a gun problem.

Patrick Novecosky is a Florida-based media relations professional, founder of this blog and NovaMediaThis article originally appeared on August 7, 2019, at Crisis Magazine.

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For U.S. Catholics, it’s time to stop the bleeding

15 Jun

by Patrick Novecosky

The Catholic Church is bleeding.

It’s wounded from decades of abuse and neglect — sexual abuse, financial misconduct, cover-ups and the failure to adequately teach the faith, not to mention failure to live it. There’s enough blame to go around. Both laypeople and the clergy have done their part to break trust with the faithful.

As a result, the Church is hemorrhaging. Badly. For decades, the in-joke among Protestants and Catholics has been that the second-largest denomination in the United States is ex-Catholics. What was once a trickle is quickly developing into a massive flow.

Last year, a Georgetown study found that millennials leaving the Church stopped identifying as Catholics at a median age of 13, long before they ceased attending a parish.

A Pew study reports that more than half of adults who were raised Catholic have left the Church. “A significant minority of them returned, but most (four-in-ten of all those raised Catholic) have not.”

You get the picture.

Broken Trust

Cardinal Daniel N. DiNardo, Cardinal Pietro Parolin, and Archbishop Jose Gomez at a Nov. 12, 2017, presentation in Baltimore. (CNS photo/Bob Roller)

As the U.S. Bishops meet this week in Baltimore for their General Assembly, they’ll discuss a host of issues. The abuse scandal is dominating the headlines, but the real underlying issue they should examine is broken trust. Catholics need to have confidence in their priests and bishops. Joe Catholic needs to know and see that Church leaders — priests, bishops and laypeople — are living the faith they profess to believe.

Catholics are rightly outraged when news breaks that prelates like West Virginia Bishop Michael Bransfield are spending a thousand dollars a month on liquor. Having fresh $100 worth of fresh-cut flowers delivered to their offices daily. Dropping $350,000 in gifts to priests, bishops and cardinals across the country and at the Vatican. Not to mention Bransfield’s sexual harassment of priests and seminarians under his authority. I hardly need to mention the now-laicized former Cardinal Theodore McCarrick.

Bishop Michael Bransfield resigned last year, but an investigation showed accusations of homosexual harassment were credible and it detailed the bishop’s extravagant spending.

At the same time, the Associated Press reports that attorneys general across the country have gathered hordes of evidence on clergy sex abuse, seized through search warrants and subpoenas at dozens of archdioceses.

Hanging on by a Thread

Many have had enough. A Gallup poll in March showed that 37 percent of adult Catholics are considering leaving the faith. Who can blame them? It’s a terrible time to be Catholic. So why stick around when other denominations are more transparent and welcoming? But scandal has dogged other Christian (and non-Christian) churches as well. The Southern Baptist Convention — also meeting this week — is itself confronting the issue of sexual abuse.

A Time for Saints and Heroes

Other say this is a great time to be Catholic. Throughout its 2,000-year history, God has raised up saints to steer the Church right again during times of scandal, abuse and misconduct on the part of its leaders.

Maximilian Kolbe was a Polish priest who gave his life for a fellow prisoner at Auschwitz, on Aug. 14, 1941.

The response to the Protestant Reformation gave us great saints like Teresa of Avila, Thomas More, and Ignatius of Loyola. In our day, we have stalwarts like Pope St. John Paul II, Padre Pio, Mother Teresa, and Maximilian Kolbe. More saints are born out of troubled times than any other period in human history. Our day is no different.

The challenge for the bishops — and lay Catholics as well — is to rebuild trust. Jesus founded the Catholic Church, so we who believe that he is the Son of God need to amend our lives to conform to that belief. That’s the call of every baptized Christian.

Rocky Soil?

Jesus’ parable of the sower and the seed is applicable here. A farmer scattered seed, and some fell on rocky ground while other seed fell on good, fertile soil. The seed that fell on rocky ground sprouted, but its roots failed to go deep. The plant withered and died. The seed that fell on good soil blossomed and produced a bountiful harvest. A faithful witness rebuilds trust and helps create that fertile soil for others to believe as we do.

The Catholic Church’s bleeding won’t stop any time soon. It will only begin to heal once our shepherds and other professed Catholics start living what they profess to believe.

Patrick Novecosky is a Florida-based media relations professional, founder of this blog and NovaMedia. This article originally appeared on June 15, 2019, at The Stream.

How the Oscars got grouchy: In your face politics

26 Feb

by Patrick Novecosky

(February 26, 2019) — When Jack Palance stood up to collect his Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in 1992, I distinctly remember thinking, “I bet the old guy has a heart attack by the time he hits the third step.”

Jack Palance with his Academy Award in 1991

Palance did, indeed, drop to the floor. Not because he went into cardiac arrest, but to execute three one-handed push-ups – and one more with two hands to top off the performance. He checked his politics at the door.

Those were the days.

Over the past couple decades, the Academy Awards’ prestige — along with viewership of the live broadcast — has waned. It hit an all-time low last year when Jimmy Kimmel took a turn as host. The 26.6 million people who tuned in to the ceremony were the fewest to do so since Nielsen began estimating the program’s viewership in 1974.

Last night’s numbers weren’t much better, up a modest 2.1 million.

Why the Oscars Are Dying

Philip Bump at The Washington Post blames the slump on people not actually seeing the nominated films, therefore having no interest in the glitz and glamor of Hollywood’s biggest night.

Using statistical analysis, Bump makes some good points. The more popular the nominated films, the more popular the Oscar broadcast. Make sense.

But there’s something deeper going on here. Politics.

It’s Getting Too Shrill

Actors have always worn their politics on their sleeves. Humphrey Bogart organized a delegation to Washington, D.C., in 1947 against what he perceived to be the House Un-American Activities Committee’s harassment of Hollywood screenwriters and actors. Jane Fonda blasted the U.S. military’s involvement in Vietnam in the 1970s, and a bevy of stars — from Mark Ruffalo to Meryl Streep  — lined up to support Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders in their 2016 bids for the White House.

But that’s on their own time.

Americans are free to tune out celebs’ activism (and they do) at the push of a button. While Fonda’s shrill rants against most of America’s war efforts are annoying, most of us are able to palate her on-screen performances. As annoying as I find Susan Sarandon’s liberal politics, it didn’t dissuade me from watching Thelma and Louise for the third time.

Marlon Brando famously refused his Best Actor statue in 1973 for his role in The Godfather, sending Native American activist Sacheen Littlefeather in his stead. On stage, Littlefeather cited “the treatment of American Indians today by the film industry.”

Brando’s stunt was an exception to what was generally an entertaining awards program.

Crashing America’s Party

Michael Moore delivers a rant against President George W. Bush at the Oscars in 2003 (Getty)

The last couple of decades, however, have seen an excessive number of stars use the Oscar pulpit to lecture Americans on how to vote, how to spend their money, and which causes to embrace.

In his acceptance speech for winning the Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar for The Cider House Rules in 2000, John Irving gave a nod to “everyone at Planned Parenthood and the National Abortion Rights League” and thanked the Academy “for this honor to a film on the abortion subject.”

Three years later, Michael Moore delivered a blistering speech, lambasting President George W. Bush only four days after the U.S. invaded Iraq. “We are against this war, Mr. Bush! Shame on you, Mr. Bush! Shame on you!” Moore shouted, drawing boos and groans from the audience, as well as some soft applause.

When Leonardo DiCaprio accepted the Best Actor award for his role in The Revenant in 2016, he lectured America:

Climate change is real, it is happening right now. It is the most urgent threat facing our entire species, and we need to work collectively together and stop procrastinating.

Spike Lee channels Prince at the 2019 Oscars

And last Sunday, Spike Lee (dressed as Prince), took a not-so-veiled swipe at President Trump. “The 2020 election is around the corner. Let’s all mobilize and be on the right side of history. Make the moral choice between love versus hate.”

Americans don’t mind lectures from qualified experts. But they don’t have much patience for overpaid entertainers posing as authorities on anything but entertaining. Maybe if they’d take a page from Jack Palance’s playbook, we would give the Oscars a second chance.

Patrick Novecosky is a Florida-based media relations professional, founder of this blog and NovaMedia. This article originally appeared on Feb. 26, 2019, at The Stream.

St. Padre Pio and the art of fraternal correction

18 Sep

by Patrick Novecosky

(SEPTEMBER 18, 2018) — Nice is not a virtue. It’s not a bad thing to be nice, but it’s not among the seven virtues. To be frank, Jesus wasn’t always nice. When he overturned the moneychangers’ tables, I’m sure none of those who witnessed the event would have said, “Oh, that was nice!”

If you witness someone committing a grave sin and you sit back and do or say nothing, people might think you’re nice. If someone goes through life just minding their own business all the time, they may have someone deliver their eulogy extolling the person’s niceness. Trust me; you don’t want to go there.

Rather, we’re called to embrace the four cardinal virtues—prudence, justice, temperance, and fortitude—and the three theological virtues of faith, hope, love/charity. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches us that a “virtue is a habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts but to give the best of himself. The virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions” (#1803).

That means we’re called to intervene when someone goes astray—an act known as fraternal correction. It takes courage (a virtue) to correct a friend or family member. Sometimes it may not seem nice to the person receiving correction, but it also takes tact or diplomacy to reach a person in need.

What does this have to do with St. Pio of Pietrelcina (1887-1968), whose feast day we celebrate on Sept. 23? Those who’ve studied his life will know that often he was not nice—but he was always virtuous.

Any telling of Padre Pio’s life must start with the Mass and his love of Jesus in the Eucharist. When he celebrated Mass, he would often go into ecstasy for prolonged periods of time. He once said that at the Consecration he saw everyone who had asked for his prayers. Witnesses also say they saw a crown of thorns on the priest’s head during the Consecration.

He once famously said that “it would be easier for the world to survive without the sun than to do without the Holy Mass.”

Padre Pio was also physically tormented by demons. In 1998, I traveled to San Giovanni Rotondo where he lived in Southern Italy and saw his bedroom/cell where he was routinely thrown across the room by minions from hell. Despite this horror, his faith only grew stronger.

As a confessor, Padre Pio was known to be stern.

In the early days of his priestly ministry, Padre Pio often spent lengthy times in the confessional. Once his reputation spread, his confession lines grew until the average waiting time was 10 days. It got to the point that the Capuchins implemented a ticketing system starting in 1950. Despite his fame and demand on his time, he had a remarkable way of focusing on each penitent as they came to be healed from sin. We have a testament to the importance of confession by the sheer amount of time he spent hearing confessions. Some days, he spent 15 to 19 hours in the confessional.

Confessing to a priest who has the charism of reading souls might seem interesting, maybe attractive, [but] in reality, it was humbling for many. Padre Pio was not afraid to be gruff or confrontational to impenitent souls! He once called a man a pig and told him to get out of his confessional. He knew penitents’ sins better than the penitents themselves and called out anyone trying to hide something. (Source)

One of the beautiful things about Catholic groups for men and boys like the Troops of Saint George is that they provide a forum for members to know one another well—to know one another’s hearts and minds. That personal connection forces each of us to step up and become a better version of ourselves. Scripture says that “as iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).

This familiarization also sets up men and boys to become one another’s mentors. Fraternal correction may not always be nice, but it’s necessary if we’re to form saints. One of my mentors once told me that each of us is like a block of marble that needs to be chipped and polished into God’s masterpiece. Each blow of the hammer hurts a little, but those blows help reveal something—the beauty that lies beneath.

PATRICK NOVECOSKY is a Florida-based media relations professional, founder of this blog and NovaMedia. This article originally appeared on Sept. 18, 2019, at TroopsOfStGeorge.org

Masculinity, heroism and the Gospel

28 Aug

(AUGUST 28, 2018) — There was a time not long ago when men were expected to be the provider, protector, and leader of their household—and of their culture, society, and nation. In our day, however, such “outdated thinking” is sometimes branded as “toxic masculinity.”

According to Wikipedia, “scholars have used the term toxic masculinity to refer to stereotypically masculine gender roles that restrict the kinds of emotions allowable for boys and men to express—including social expectations that men seek to be dominant (the ‘alpha male’) and limit their emotional range primarily to expressions of anger.”

In common parlance, however, men who exercise authentic masculinity are often branded as being infected with toxic masculinity. Certainly, the most toxic thing for anyone—man or woman—is sin.

Further, as rational, God-fearing men, we can all agree that “stereotypical gender roles” are just that—stereotypes. True, some men seek to be dominant, alpha-male types and have a limited range of emotion. The converse is also true. Some men have a wide emotional range and have no interest in dominating anyone.

However, the vast majority of boys and men (at least in my experience) fall somewhere in the middle. We have a normal range of emotion and seek to find our place in the culture, our families, and our communities.

But the bigger question is this: What do scripture and our faith tradition teach us about what it means to a man? First and foremost, men (and women, too, of course) are called to be saints. We’re called to be holy. This is the primary reason we exist. “God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him forever in heaven,” the Baltimore Catechism teaches.

Noted Catholic therapist and author Peter Kleponis expands on that concept: “To live a happy, fulfilling and productive life, we need to know our primary purpose, our mission. For men, that mission is to be effective leaders, providers, and protectors. This is our nature.”

Catholic men, especially fathers, need to understand their nature and purpose, and then they need to model it for their children. We need to embrace our masculinity, not shun it. But I’m talking about authentic masculinity, not the toxic variety. A true man protects and defends his wife, children, his faith and all that is good and true.

Men of God who seek holiness must also be the faith leaders in their homes. Studies show that if men want their children to embrace the faith, they must model it for them. When I met my wife on AveMariaSingles.com in 2001 and started talking on the phone, one of the first things I asked her was if I could pray with her. Every time we got on the phone, I’d lead a prayer.

Now, nearly 18 years later, I lead our family in prayer every night. Then I pray with my wife before we go to sleep a few hours later. Prayer is the glue that connects us to God and to each other. My life is living proof of that.

Our faith calls men to stand in stark contrast to toxic masculinity. Men must be bold warriors for Christ. That can’t happen unless our lives are rooted in prayer. We must develop a habit of praying the rosary regularly. St. Padre Pio instructs that “the rosary is the weapon for these times.” There can be no heroism, no holy boldness without a committed prayer life. While rooted in prayer, we must also temper our strength with tenderness, just as St. Paul instructs:

“I urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love, striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace” (Eph 4:1-3).

St. Augustine, whose feast day we are celebrating today, wisely counseled: “You aspire to great things? Begin with little ones.” In our day and age, there can be no better advice.

PATRICK NOVECOSKY is a seasoned Catholic speaker, journalist, and thought leader who founded NovaMedia this blog. This article was originally published by The Troops of St. George on Aug. 28, 2018.

The practical wisdom of St. Josemaría Escrivá

26 Jun

by Patrick Novecosky

(JUNE 26, 2018) — Men need tough role models—other men who are bold, fearless and champions of the good. We need these types of mentors because, left to our own devices, we become complacent, lazy and stagnant—whether we’re a young man, middle aged, or nearing the end of our life’s journey.

The Bible affirms this wisdom: “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). The great Spanish saint, Josemaría Escrivá, had a knack for practical insights into the human heart—especially those of men and boys.

He drew inspiration from his father’s work as a merchant and partner in a textile company. When he was a young 26-year-old priest, he went on a prayerful retreat where he discerned more precisely God’s will for his life. He founded Opus Dei (Work of God), a way by which men and women might learn to sanctify themselves by their secular work.

“You must realize now,” he wrote, “more clearly than ever, that God is calling you to serve Him in and from the ordinary, secular, and civil activities of human life. He waits for us every day, in the laboratory, in the operating theatre, in the army barracks, in the university chair, in the factory, in the workshop, in the fields, in the home and in all the immense panorama of work.”

No matter your station in life—student, teacher, bus driver, scientist or politician—the Lord is calling us to serve Him where we are. Like the old saying goes, “Bloom where you’re planted.” Our call to holiness is the same. We can’t wait to begin a life in holiness until we’re older, richer or wiser because God needs us to shine right now—for ourselves and for those he surrounds us with.

Saint Josemaría Escrivá’s feast day is today. He looked at life and holiness in very simple terms, which make his advice incredibly practical for every man, woman and child.

“Either we learn to find the Lord in the ordinary everyday life or else we shall never find him,” he said, echoing the “bloom where you’re planted” adage.

Escrivá also taught about joy.

“Christian optimism is not a sugary optimism, nor is it a mere human confidence that everything will turn out all right,” he explained. “It is an optimism that sinks its roots into an awareness of our freedom, and the sure knowledge of the power of grace. It is an optimism that leads us to make demands on ourselves, to struggle to respond at every moment to God’s call.”

He rallied everyone around him to become a saint—to be holy, to strive for holiness, to model Christ. He encouraged people to embrace the sacraments and to love the Mass. He believed that sanctity is a decision aided by God’s abundant grace and mercy. Just like love is not so much a feeling, but a choice, so is holiness. It’s available to everyone, and there’s no better time to start living that life than now.

“Don’t wait until you are old to start becoming a saint,” he said. “Begin right now. Cheerfully and joyfully, by fulfilling the duties of your work and of your everyday life.”

I can think of no better way to step into summer than to make a firm decision to become a saint. Choose to pray always, attend Mass as often as you can, go to Confession regularly, and to love passionately and joyfully, and to want heaven for everyone.

PATRICK NOVECOSKY is the president of NovaMedia and editor of this blog. This article appears simultaneously in the blog section of The Troops of Saint George.

Dads: Model your lives after God the Father

12 Jun

by Patrick Novecosky

(June 12, 2018) — One of the key points I hit every time I give a talk is this—we’re at war. The battle raging all around us is a war of ideas, a war over the best way to run our country, the best way to raise our children, the best way to live our lives.

This war is bigger than left versus right, liberal versus conservative. The real war is a spiritual one. It’s a battle for souls that will rage until Jesus comes again in his glory. Men cannot be passive. We’re called to engage.

Father’s Day is a great time to take stock of the battle—and the role we’re called to play in this war for souls. At the end of it all, when we take our last breath, we’ll face Him—the Lord of Lords. If we’ve been faithful and selfless, living our lives for others, we can expect Jesus to say, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23).

But Jesus will likely also ask us, “Who did you bring with you?”

It’s not time to shrug and say, “I dunno.”

Our job as members of the Church Militant, in a nutshell, is to get to Heaven and to take as many people with us as we can. If that’s firmly planted in your frontal lobe, chances are you’ll be counted among the saints in Heaven.

Fight the good fight

Three years ago, Phoenix Bishop Thomas Olmsted challenged men to step up and be leaders in the culture war—and to be spiritual leaders in the home and society

“Men, do not hesitate to engage in the battle that is raging around you, the battle that is wounding our children and families, the battle that is distorting the dignity of both women and men,” he wrote in his apostolic exhortation entitled Into the Breach. “This battle is often hidden, but the battle is real. It is primarily spiritual, but it is progressively killing the remaining Christian ethos in our society and culture, and even in our own homes.”

The battle he describes is real. When men fail their families, children suffer. The Fatherhood Initiative reports that children with absent fathers are:

  • Four times more likely to live in poverty;
  • More likely to suffer emotional and behavioral problems;
  • More likely to commit a crime and go to prison;
  • Seven times more likely to become pregnant as a teen;
  • More prone to neglect, abuse and substance abuse;
  • Twice as likely to become obese; and
  • Twice as likely to drop out of school.

That’s just the physical side. The spiritual side is even worse. When men fail to lead spiritually, children suffer in a way that has eternal consequences.

A 2000 study found that when both fathers and mothers attended church regularly, about 41% of the children would go to church when they reach an adult stage. Amazingly, when the father attends church on an irregular basis, 60% of the children reaching adulthood will be irregular attendees or drop out altogether. When the father doesn’t ever attend church, only 2% of children that grow into adulthood will attend church with nearly none of them ever becoming Christian.

When this same equation is with the mother, the numbers are not nearly as drastic. The conclusion is that fathers have the greatest influence on their children’s lives and have the most impact on their becoming a Christian and attending church regularly as adults (Patheos.com, The Importance of Good Christian Fathers).

Modeling God the Father

Herein lies the challenge for us as fathers. Our call is to mirror God the Father, which begins by being a devoted son of the Father. No small task, but it must always be rooted in prayer. Our children will do what we do far sooner than they’ll do what we say. Our words matter, but our actions speak far louder. If we’re devoted to our faith—praying the rosary, going to Mass, leading the family in prayer—our children are much more likely to take the faith seriously.

We must love our wives. Never stop trying to win her heart… even if you already have. My father was madly in love with my mother to the day he died. I’m convinced his love for her only increased when he crossed the threshold of Heaven. When your sons witness your love for your wife, they’re more apt to do the same when they’re married. Your daughters will look for a husband who will love her like you love your wife.

We must love our children. Each one is a precious gift from God. Irreplaceable. Unique. Each has the potential to change the world. And they will. They need to feel loved, safe and valued. I always think of Viola Davis’ memorable line in The Help: “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”

Bishop Thomas Olmsted

On top of that, our children need to know they are loved eternally. God loves them, and their destination is heaven. If we get this right, the rest is gravy.

The world needs such men who model our Heavenly Father. The world is desperate for your witness. Bishop Olmsted said it best to his flock in Into the Breach:

Men, your presence and mission in the family is irreplaceable! … We need faith like that of our fathers who defended the children of previous generations and who gave up their own lives rather than abandon their faith in Christ. My sons and brothers, men of the Diocese of Phoenix, we need you to step into the breach!

St. Joseph, patron of fathers, patron of families, patron of the Universal Church, pray for us!

PATRICK NOVECOSKY is the president of NovaMedia and editor of this blog. This article appears simultaneously in the blog section of The Troops of Saint George.